The Return
Peace Journeyers! It has been a minute, but I’m back! I’m smiling SO hard as I get back into my writing groove. I feel like this energy is giving Season 2 type vibes! Continue reading to see how season 2 of my journey to healing is going so far.
Secret part about healing: It can get messy!
Since my first blog post in 2021, I have enjoyed being authentic with you all. Mainly because the journey 2 self that I started in 2020, through this concept of self healing and self empowerment, has forced me to be nothing short of authentic. These days I can’t pretend if someone paid me to, lol! I always find it important to note that I am not telling any of you to follow my steps because my steps are unique to my specific journey. They are unique to me and my divine purpose for being here. I share my journey to simply empower you to reflect on your own journey, heal from any traumas experienced, release what no longer serves you at your different stages and accept ALL of who you are. I am still alive to share my updates and lessons therefore my journey is not complete. An incomplete journey means that I, too, am continuously learning, evolving and revealing my true self. It’s the thrill of it all for me!
Where have I been?
I know there seems to be so much going on in everyone’s reality right now. This time last year and the year prior, it was covid, lock downs, fear, panic and now it’s all of that plus monkey pocks, a recession, food shortage and thousands of people asking to read your energy. While I do hear these murmurs in the background, I’m busy saying positive affirmations, restarting my exercise regime, growing my nonprofit, Journey 2 Self Inc., mothering, healing, living, experiencing, working and lastly, managing my relationships! (Heavy on the managing relationships piece.)
One thing I quickly realized is that when you’re on a journey of self reflection, it reminds you of things you previously seen, heard, felt, needed, wanted, loved, feared, enjoyed, forgot… many of these memories bring you warmth, comfort and a reminiscent smile. But there are also those memories that reveal the darker secrets, insecurities, obsessions, desires, addictions, illnesses, etc. Those memories need just as much attention as the others. If we do not start looking more deeply within, we will never get to the root of our identity. The foundation of self. Once we remember, we can acknowledge and we can release/accept. Releasing isn’t storing /filling for later. Releasing is forgiving yourself for all the people your hurt self, hurt. Releasing leads to self acceptance. Once you accept yourself for all that you are and for all that you may not quite be, your relationship with everything (and everyone) changes.
What keeps me going?
A great friend of mine once told me it’s important to find child like joy. What gets you excited and antsy? For me it’s writing, healing and experiencing. For so long I was detached from my true self that I ghosted through life. So being able to run through the sprinkler with my two daughters and experience the cold water, loud music and even louder laughs makes me tingle with joy. Joy is thrilling and if something no longer brings me joy, I bow out…respectfully.
The relationship with myself is always top priority. That relationship determines all other relationships. When I’m on bad terms in my relationship with myself, my relationship with food, nature, close family/friends, health and money is also not the best. It can get real “reality TV messy”, so there are times when I have to step away to work on the relationship with myself. I do this by communicating with myself, nurturing myself, forgiving myself so that everything around me improves. It’s a beautiful balance.
The Great Separation
My relationship with many people changed, but I want to focus on the relationship with my husband and our daughters because it has shifted significantly. We all know I’ve been in love with my best friend/husband since I was 14, so the fact that we have been separated for the last 10 months is HEAVY. Through all of that detachment I referenced earlier, I realized I wasn’t my truest self during our beautiful union. As I continued my journey of healing in 2021, it highlighted the need to separate in order to become whole. In my eyes, a successful marriage is the union of two whole individuals and unfortunately when I said “I Do” at the age of 23, I was not whole.
With us having two daughters, and being the poster couple for co-parenting (I have to give credit where credit is due!), it’s imperative that we incorporate our goddesses and their emotional and mental health into our decision making process. I have made significant strides in being emotionally available and mentally present with my daughters. Spending more time with them and still vacationing as a family has been therapeutic for all 4 of us. Our daughters are way more outspoken. They are asking questions and not self internalizing because as a mom, I make it my mission to create safe spaces for healing conversations. My goal is to be loving, authentic, clean, moisturized, honest, available and feminine with my little goddesses. I hear all the prayers and well wishes from family and friends and I genuinely want you all to know that I receive it and I will continue to do what resonates with my heart.
My motherhood journey is the best part of my journey because I get to reparent the child within me by mindfully parenting the children that come from me. What is season two of your journey to self looking like? I’m always down to chat privately. Or for a sense of community, join my nonprofit’s private Facebook group. If you want to know what will happen next in my personal life, follow my TikTok because I don’t write public pieces as frequently as I use too but I do quick journey updates via TikTok. As always, please uplift Journey 2 Self Inc. by donating and following us on FB, IG and YouTube. Until next time,
Uniquely Aniqua